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Lift your skirt at the door, please.

OK, this is ridiculous. Really? We’re worried about transgendered people “using” the bathroom?

I can see it now… uninformed, loud-mouthed, queer (or anything that doesn’t look or act like them)-bashing “conservatives” (how did they get their hands on that label?) yelling… Oh my God! A man in a dress wants to use the*gasp* women’s bathroom?!?! He? must want to go in there to stare at women (through the stalls with his? x-ray vision, no doubt) or to molest someone (because a man? in a dress doesn’t stand out at all and wouldn’t draw any attention to him?self, thereby making him? able to operate in a stealthy way. I mean, perverts looking to stare at women or harass them have no other options but to put on a dress, go out in public, and parade into women’s restrooms to do so, right?

And what about those girls? that look like boys? You know they are going into the men’s bathroom so they can take a peek at what’s hanging out around the urinal, right? You know who I’m talking about, the ones that refuse to wear proper women’s clothes or pink or something that gives away the fact that they have a vagina and should be treated differently than men. It couldn’t possibly be that they don’t feel comfortable going in the women’s bathroom because every time they do, they get stared at with mouths gaping open, horrified that “that boy” is going in the women’s bathroom! And often, when really lucky, they are confronted with their lack of conformity with mainstream society’s idea of what’s acceptable for a woman to wear with angry or condescending accusations that they “must” be in the wrong bathroom.

Which brings me to the “bathroom police.” The bathroom police is a wonderfully fervent, crazed, “speak for the masses” phenomenon that knows no boundaries. I mean, if you’re wearing “women’s clothes” but you have an Adam’s apple, you do kinda stand out a little and people will stare. So, why shouldn’t you expect a total stranger to walk up to you and inform you that you either are illiterate and couldn’t read the bathroom signs or more likely a pervert who just enjoys going into the “wrong” bathroom to conduct who knows what kind of hijinks and tomfoolery? Or if you are dressed like a boy but have a “pretty face”, you’d better not go in either restroom for fear of scaring the “real women” or causing the insecure “real men” to have a crisis of identity and possibly have to beat you up to prove their manhood.

So, I guess we need to choose how we’re going to deal with these transgendered people. We either need to do a pants check at the door to see where everyone “belongs” or transgendered people just need to hold it. It’s just too stressful for all of those innocent people who dress the way they are supposed to and look the way they are supposed to to deal with the fact that someone who doesn’t look or act like them might need to pee at the same time they do. Why should those poor innocent bystanders suffer because of the inevitability of bodily functions of transgendered freaks who are obviously out to take a peek at other peoples vaginas or penises in public? I mean, why else would they be going in the bathroom?

Stay with me, now, because this is where the aforementioned “bathroom police” really go above and beyond the call of duty by making sure those transgendered people know we’re watching them. We’re on to their guise of going into public restrooms, subjecting themselves to stares, comments, and even potentially bodily harm and abuse, just to annoy the rest of the world and make them a little uncomfortable. That needs to stop. People who conform should not be made to feel uncomfortable. They’ve invested way too much energy and lack of thought into fitting in.

So kudos to the bathroom police. Keep poking your nose into transgendered people’s business and continue your mission to protect all the innocent people who are just going into the bathroom to pee… hmmm… wait a minute, isn’t that what the transgendered people are doing, too? And it sounds like it might ACTUALLY be a little more stressful for them (the transgendered people, keep up, please…) than the “normal” people who are shouting and protesting their presence the loudest. But I guess realizing that would require that all of the people who have decided to protest and yell and sign petitions with an air of righteous indignation would actually have to *think* before they open their mouth and start spewing their nonsense based on the fear of the unknown and unfamiliar. I guess that’s asking a little much.

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