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How to Grill a Thanksgiving Turkey Courtesy of Jody- You’re Welcome in Advance

WHY SMOKE A TURKEY ON A GRILL?

IT’S EASY.

IT FREES UP YOUR OVEN FOR ALL THE OTHER CRAP YOU HAVE TO COOK.

AND, IF YOU PAY ATTENTION, YOU WILL BE REWARDED WITH A TURKEY THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS:

WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

-a turkey

-a round Smokey Joe style charcoal grill

-match light charcoal and regular charcoal

-a lighter and lighter fluid

-3-4 hours of time

-your choice of beverage- let’s go with boxed wine for this demonstration to make more room in the fridge for leftovers.

STEP 1: Pour a glass of wine.

Prepare the turkey to your liking. Stuff it/slather it with whatever you choose. Do this first. Once you get the fire going, you don’t want to be messing with the turkey at the same time… and then have your coals get cool because you didn’t have your bird ready.

STEP 2: Have some more wine.

Place a drip pan on the bottom rack of the grill.

Arrange 20 match light briquettes on each side of the pan.  Soak in lighter fluid for easier lighting. See picture below:

STEP 3: Light each pile of briquettes.

Drink your wine while you wait for the flame to quiet down and the briquettes begin to turn red and grey.

Add 9 briquettes to each side and when it looks like this you are ready to put the turkey on the grill:

STEP 4: Place the top rack on the grill once the coals are ready:

Cover the wings with foil to prevent burning and bring out the bird. It is time to cook your Thanksgiving turkey!

Place the turkey on the top rack of the grill.

Cover with lid, vent the top, and wait 1 HOUR.

DO NOT PEEK at the turkey once it is covered.

REPEAT: DO NOT TAKE THE COVER OFF THE GRILL UNTIL IT HAS BEEN 1 HOUR. Or you’ll blow it.

Enjoy your wine for 1 hour.

STEP 5: Remove cover, and quickly add 9 regular (not match light- unless you need them) briquettes to each side of drip pan. Your coals should be an awesome mixture of grey and orange. You want them to be hot but not in flames.

This is what your turkey should look like at this time, after one hour.

Briefly wonder in amazement at how easy this is. (You don’t want to leave the cover off for a long time)

Place lid back on grill. Leave it alone for another hour. Again, DO NOT PEEK.

Drink more wine.

STEP 6: Remove the grill cover after 1 hour, quickly add 9 more briquettes to each side of the drip pan.

This is what your turkey should look like at this time- 2 hours in.

Marvel yet again at your fabulous turkey. But remember, do it quickly.

And notice the fabulous juices collecting in the pan beneath.

Place lid back on grill. Leave it alone for another hour. Again, DO NOT PEEK.

Drink more wine. Set a timer. You’ve had a lot of wine by now.

Step 7: Remove the grill cover after 1 hour, add 9 more briquettes to each side of the drip pan.

It’s been 3 hours now, so your turkey may be ready. Keep an eye on the little poppy button thing if you have one. Otherwise, you’ll need to rely on a meat thermometer- you’re going for 165 degrees: This is what my 14# bird looked like 3 hours in:

(My coals are flaming because I added match light coals when I should have added regular coals. Live and learn.)

Marvel at your fabulous turkey.

If your turkey isn’t quite ready, that’s ok. Neither was mine. And the larger the bird, the longer it will take.

Step 8: Have some more wine.

Add 9 more briquettes to each side. Replace lid.

Start checking every 30 minutes. Only remove the cover long enough to check the popper or the thermometer.

The time will pass quickly because you are probably intoxicated. Pay attention. You don’t want to blow it now.

Step 9: Once the button has popped or you have achieved 165 degrees, you are ready to remove the turkey from the grill.

This part is tricky. It’s heavy. And hot.

You don’t want to drop it on the ground after all this. Or burn yourself. That would suck.

You might want to get someone who’s a bit more sober to do this part.

Bring it in the house with much deserved fanfare. I like to play “We are the Champions”

Your magnificent turkey should look like this:

STEP 10: Don’t forget about the pan of drippings. This is liquid gold. Carefully bring it inside as well. Remember, it’s hot too.

These drippings are the base for your gravy. Mixed with giblets, flour and a little liquid smoke, it’s like crack but in a good way.

Step 11: Cover the turkey with foil and let it rest for 30 minutes.

Cover the grill and close the vents to extinguish the fire. Allow the grill to cool.

Drink more wine.

Step 12: Get someone who has had less to drink to carve the turkey. And enjoy!

Step 13: Toss the empty box of wine and put the leftovers in your fridge for later. Done and done!

Step 14: I lied, you’re not done. You still have to clean the grill so it will be ready for the next turkey you want to cook.

I promise, it’s worth it.

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2 responses »

  1. Love it!

    Reply
  2. Love this!!

    Reply

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