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Category Archives: marriage

Why can’t republicans stop talking about abortion and gay people and start talking about jobs?

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They are the most genitalia and sex obsessed group of people I have ever encountered.
And that’s saying a lot.
They scream “small government” and run on a platform of jobs. Then since 2010, ten states have banned abortion past 20 weeks. When none had a ban before. And how many jobs bills have they proposed? Try zero.

I wrote this 8 months ago & it sat as a draft.
But published it today as it is sadly still relevant.
So that’s really all I have to say.


Photo from & @gottalaff on twitter



A Religion I’d Follow:

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I have a  hypothesis I want to run by you. It’s kind of out there, but just read the whole thing before you decide whether or not you think it’s bullshit. Then, if at the end you still do, go ahead and tell me. That’s fair.

First I should start by saying I consider myself agnostic. What I mean by that is that I don’t know whether or not there is a God, but I don’t believe in the one defined by modern Christianity… ie…the Bible is the Word of God. I believe it’s a moral code. And I don’t know whether it was inspired by any greater being or not. But if it was, I’m about to propose the God I would believe in and a church I would attend.

First we just have to assume that a God exists. What if God inspired the Bible all that time ago with the intention that we would take it, read it, consider society at the time it was written, learn from science over thousands of years, and then develop our own moral code, informed by facts and history, as our society matured? I know that’s crazy talk. It means that instead of being a narcissistic power freak, God would be a kind and teaching God. He would give us the room to evolve and grow as our understanding of the world grew. He wouldn’t hold us to some set of standards developed by men thousands of years ago… when slavery was normal, women were property, our understanding of science and the world was minuscule. I mean, we thought the world was flat until someone figured out it wasn’t. But the Bible said it was. How do you explain that? I can’t.

I’d like to think that if there is a God, he isn’t worried about whether I’m eating pork or shellfish, crushing on my neighbor’s wife, or attracted to the same sex. I think he’s hoping we all figure out how to live together without murder, rape, robbery. He’s hoping we just aren’t assholes. He’s hoping we keep in mind the things that are really important- the things Jesus taught: Love. Forgiveness. Compassion. Peace. Maybe he’s hoping we’ll figure out how to work together, in communities, and possibly with structured governments to ensure everyone is cared for? I know. Crazytalk.

I’d like to think if there is a God, he’s hoping we take everything he’s given us- life and a moral code… and also science and evidence… and putting it all together to create and even broader understanding of life. But we don’t seem to be doing that. We just seem as a society to be using the Bible to condemn people we don’t agree with. Meanwhile we ignore the parts of the Bible that condemn the things we think are OK. How is that following his word?

I don’t think it is.

Why Marriage Equality Matters. (Hint, it’s not about God)

Thank you National Gay and Lesbian Task Force for summing this up nicely.

Congratulations on Your Marriage!
To honor this special occasion, the US Government is happy to present to you:
-access to social security after spouse’s death
-the right to custody of children after divorce
-access to health insurance through spouse’s workplace
-visitation rights for non-biological children
-joint parenting rights, such as access to children’s school records
-bereavement leave after spouse’s death
-burial determination after spouse’s death
-domestic violence intervention
-sick leave to care for spouse or non-biological child
-legal validation of a long-term relationship
-ability to live in neighborhoods deemed “family only”
-access to life insurance in spouse’s workplace
-access to survivor benefits in case of emergency
-access to spouse’s crime victim’s recovery benefits
-ability to file wrongful death claims
-right to shared property, child support, or alimony after divorce
-ability to file joint home and auto insurance policies
-joint rental leases with automatic renewal rights if spouse dies or leaves
-access to adopting children
-automatic inheritance of shared assets after spouse’s death
-automatic exemption of property tax increases on shared assets gained after spouse’s death
-ability to file joint tax returns
-access to tax breaks for married couples
-veterans’ discounts based on spouse’s armed forces status
-assumption of spouse’s pension after death
-ability to file joint bankruptcy
-ability to collect unemployment benefits after leaving a job to relocate because of spouse’s job move
-ability to transfer property from one spouse to another without transfer tax consequences
-access to fostering children
-automatic next-of-kin status for emergency medical decisions and hospital visitation status
-immigration and residency priority for spouses from another country
-ability to invoke spousal privileges in a court of law
-access to reduced-rate memberships at health clubs, social clubs, organizations
-prison visitation rights

*reserved solely for unions that consist of one man and one woman.
See below for same-sex couples:

You get nothing.

You see, gays don’t want God’s approval. They just want the same benefits and protections straight people take for granted every single damn day. The churches can do what they want. Take away that list of benefits, people wouldn’t be so KEEN on getting married just to make a promise to God.

The federal government either needs to get OUT of the marriage sanctioning and reward business, or treat everyone equally.

This is NOT a valid argument:

But for some reason, these are the people being listened to by our federal government. That needs to change.

What You Will Need to Survive GAYMAGEDDON. (For my straight friends)


If you’re reading this you obviously know of the enormous threat of Gaymageddon. It seems that letting gay people get married is getting to be more and more popular. And obviously, as this happens, the very fabric of our nation will slowly unravel and we will sink into becoming a depraved and lawless nation as a result of allowing these committed relationships between consenting adults that some people don’t approve of. Well, I hate to break it to you, but I’m a gay. And I’m here to tell you, Gaymageddon is real. But I’m a compassionate heathen, and you seem pretty cool, so I’m going to give you a list of what you will need to survive this great assault on your peers’ comfort level.

I don’t think I have to tell you that Gaymageddon will be just as unnerving as you can imagine, but in a completely different way. Here are the ten tips, call them commandments if you’d like, to surviving and making the transition to a gay-ruled world.

First, you straight people seem most worried about your marriages for some reason. But really, unless you or your spouse is gay, then gay marriage really is less of a threat to you than other straight marriages, if you think about it. So just chill on that one.

Second, you’ll need a handivac. There will be glitter everywhere.

Third, you are not going out in that belt with those shoes during Gaymageddon. It will only draw attention to the fact that you are NOT gay. Before you know it, everything in your wardrobe will be taken, perfectly fitted and matched, pressed, folded, and returned to your newly remodeled and organized closet. And that will be the end of all of your pleated dress pants. Just let them go. Don’t argue it or they will confiscate your baggy carpenter pants too.

Fourth, get used to techno music. You’ll be hearing a lot of it. Don’t worry. It’s actually kinda catchy and uplifting.

Fifth, if you hear Gaymageddon will start at 8am… sleep in. It’ll be at least 11am before things get started.

Sixth, become very familiar with hair care and styling products. The knowledge will come in handy when forced to make small talk with one of your new overlords. If you are especially proficient, it might also impress them and convince them to preserve your straight marriage.

Seventh, don’t be surprised if it becomes mandatory to sing everything instead of speaking since we all know that once the gays take over, everything will be a musical. You might want to practice a little so you won’t embarrass yourself too much.

Eighth, after Gaymageddon, when gays can legally marry, you may see gay couples all over the place together. Just like you see them now. Only they’ll be married. Horrifying, I know.

Ninth, please understand you may be required to get a new haircut. And highlights. Definitely highlights. I didn’t want to say anything, but, yeah…

Tenth (and final) commandment: If you stand in your front yard waving a giant rainbow flag yelling “I love gay people” extremely loudly while wearing only a sequined silver thong, there’s a good chance you’ll be spared. Just try it and see. Especially if you are really really afraid that allowing gays to marriage will destroy straight marriage. Then, you’re definitely going to need to do this.

I hope this helps. I know it’s a scary time. Gaymageddon will soon be upon us and a very fashionable army of people wanting equal rights will soon descend upon us surely destroying the very institution of marriage. So unchanged over time except that the wives used to be property being exchanged for money or status or goats or something. But other than that, the definition of marriage has never changed. Except when they started allowing divorces. But other than that, it’s totally the same. Letting gay people enter into legally protected committed relationships can surely only lead to the downfall of the morality of our very civilization. It’s only a matter of time. But at least the end will be fabulous.

Tiffany Alston meet Karma

Tiffany Alston. Wow. You, madam have some balls.

You ran for office by supporting gay marriage. So, lots of people believing in and hoping for equality voted for you.

Then you dicked around and pulled a no show on the marriage equality bill, thus killing the bill the senate had already passed. As an lgbt member of your community, that alone disgusted me beyond belief and prompted me to be sure everyone in your district knew your name and what you did.

And now, oh dear Tiffany, you are being accused of and indicted for using campaign funds (some donated by your lgbt supporters) for your own wedding. This new information brings forth a few emotions and thoughts. Let me break them down:

1. Wow. Just wow.

2. How stupid are you? People do look into how campaign funds are spent.

3. You used constituents’ donations to your campaign (promising support for gay marriage) for your own wedding. And then you single-handedly killed the bill. That’s just gross. I mean that’s a real asshat move. And that’s putting it politely.

4. I have a renewed faith in the old saying “what goes around comes around.” For that I thank you.

Enjoy the publicity! It’s likely to be the last you get. I hope your short-lived political career characterized by denying some of your constituents the equality you promised was fulfilling. I won’t miss you.

Tiffany Alston indicted

Regarding Don Dwyer and MD Attorney General Doug Gansler

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I am so sick of this bullshit.
(Maryland Delegate Don Dwyer)
This is a copy of the letter I sent to my Governor, Martin O’Malley.  I also sent similar copies to my delegates, state senator, and congressman.
Dear (insert delegate, state senator, congressman, and governor’s name here),

I am writing as a tax-paying resident of Maryland, in regard to Representative Don Dwyer’s recent motion to impeach Attorney General Doug Gansler.
The Attorney General was simply doing what was asked of him by the governor in granting an opinion.  It seems to have enraged Representative Dwyer that this opinion was that Maryland should recognize out of state same sex marriages, and it enrages me that he is misrepresenting his true motives in this matter by purporting a phony premise for impeachment.  I feel this is a ridiculous, homophobic, money and time-wasting effort on the part of Representative Dwyer during a time when I’m certain our legislators have much more pressing issues of actual importance to address in our state.

This is most definitely a personal issue for me.  I am a gay resident of your district.
My partner and I own a house, pay our taxes, vote regularly, and try to be active, positive influences in our neighborhood and community.  We have plans to marry in DC in June and were looking forward to the possibility that our marriage could be recognized in our home state.  This movement to impeach the Attorney General appears to me to be a blatant act of discrimination as well as a massive sign of disrespect (dare I say even animosity?) towards myself as a resident of this state.  It is insulting, disappointing, and not indicative of the wishes of Marylanders.  I am so very tired of my rights being continuously targeted or sacrificed by our legislators in ginning up fear or simple politics simply because of who I love.
I am a person.  I am not a pawn to be used for purposes of re-election using fear and hate based tactics. Our elected officials should be fighting for the residents of this state, not against them.  In fact, if legislators such as Mr. Dwyer fought half as hard for issues such as ending poverty, creating jobs, and saving the environment as he does for pro-discriminatory stunts, I can only imagine our state would benefit immensely.  And, if Representative Dwyer stopped his Facebook rhetoric long enough to look around, he would also realize that his gay constituents (and he does have them) have no secret agenda to fear. They only want what is fair and what their heterosexual counterparts enjoy: security and protection for their families. As I understand it, that is why you were elected: this is his job and yours, to fight to ensure that security and protection.  Representative Dwyer (and anyone who would support this motion) should be ashamed of their actions in this matter.

I am also appalled by Representative Dwyer’s actions as I feel they are solely politically motivated and will result in our state and the assembly spending time and money on this frivolous action.  This is money and time that would be better spent on actual important issues to our district and state.  How much money and time have we lost to this inane motion?  Does our state want to spend its time and money on an action based on fear and hate?  An action meant only to discriminate against its very own residents and those who might wish to move here in the future.  Does our state want to spend time and money hearing an argument against equal rights that has NEVER been validated or justified with facts?  Does our state want to spend time and money hearing an argument based solely on someone’s personal prejudices?

I certainly have no intention of voting for any representative who feels that our state should.

I am writing as a resident of the the state to ask you to please oppose this ridiculous, insulting, detrimental, discriminatory and  backwards move attempted by Representative Dwyer. This is obviously nothing more than an attempt to forward Representative Dwyer’s hateful political agenda: to withhold rights to residents of this state who simply want equality.

I encourage you to read this letter and consider where our representatives’ priorities should lie. Is it with the rights and freedom of their constituents?  Or is it to advance some old, worn out, backwards agenda that does nothing but hurt your voting families?  I was under the impression that he was sent there to represent US, not his own narrow-minded beliefs.  If you feel I write too passionately, I ask you to consider how you would respond if you were in my shoes.

I respectfully thank you for your time,

(my full name and contact info)

The “sanctity of marriage” my ass.

I am so sick of hearing that the argument against gay marriage is to protect the sanctity of marriage.  Seriously.  Apparently making sure marriage is only between a man and a woman is more important than focusing on any other aspects of the Prejean inspired “opposite marriage’s problems…  Let me outline them for you:

1. DIVORCE.  I dare say divorce is the number one threat to the sanctity of marriage.  It’s described in the bible as a sin.  Why aren’t they moving to outlaw it?

2. ADULTERY. OK. This is big. This is one of the commandments for fuck’s sake. Yet there aren’t any laws making it illegal or punishable.  I don’t understand.

3. ANNULMENTS.  You know the story.  A group of friends go to Vegas, drink a little too much, get married by Elvis, and wake up in the honeymoon suite on red satin sheets with a bad hangover and a new spouse!  Instead of taking those oh so precious vows to heart and trying to make it work, they take the easy way out and just pretend it never happened.  How is that protecting marriage?

4. REPUBLICAN MEN. Between the infidelities and the multiple marriages, they HAVE to be a bigger threat than gays.  Maybe in their misguided morality they think they are helping marriage by having more of them, but my understanding of marriage is that the less you have, the more successful you are…  Maybe if they outlawed republican men from marrying, they could protect the sanctity of marriage by reducing the number of extramarital affairs and subsequent messy ugly divorces.

5. CELEBRITIES. Not ALL celebrities, only the ones who seem to be trying to set a Guinness Book World Record for most marriages in one lifetime.  Last time I checked, this wasn’t a race or competition.  This isn’t a weird marriage version of speed dating.

6. NONRELIGIOUS CEREMONIES. If marriage is meant to be a contract between a man and a woman before God, then all of the people who are getting married outside of the church are insulting the sanctity of marriage, no?  Why has no law been passed that marriages are only allowed between people of religious (christian) faith?

7. OLD PEOPLE.  Old people getting married are obviously not going to reproduce, so that threatens the intended purpose of marriage which is to propagate and have children.  I guess that would also include people who are not able to have children for whatever reason.  They can’t fulfill the requirement that marriage produces children, so they are obviously a threat to the institution of marriage and should not be allowed to marry.

What this says to me is that the RWNJ have more people to focus on besides the gays if they want to protect marriage.  When will they realize they need to pass laws outlawing divorce, infidelity & annulment?  When will they pass laws excluding republican men, celebrities, nonreligous people, and old/infertile people from participating in marriage?  Hopefully they will realize that targeting these problems and groups will make much more headway towards protecting the sanctity of marriage that they are so worried about.

Of course, that probably means many of them will have to exclude themselves too.  But hey, I’m sure they won’t mind taking one for the team to further their extremely important moral fight for the preservation of the sanctity of marriage.