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Category Archives: pajamas

Pajama Wearing Bloggers and other dangers to America

Dear Mrs. Palin,

I would like to congratulate you on your keen insight into those who might criticize you. I am indeed writing this blog in my pajamas. I am not, however, writing it in my parents’ basement. That would be rather difficult since they divorced when I was four years old. Their marriage, no doubt, somehow destroyed by the mere thought that gays might one day gain the right to marry. Yes, I am a child of a broken home, an eerie foreshadowing of the days to come as a result of the gays’ dangerous and threatening quest for equality. Somehow, gay marriage retroactively caused the demise of my own parents’ marriage. I know now that if they had been aware of the true cause of their problems, they might have seen a light, hung in there, and not broken the sacred vows that they had taken. I’m sure the same could be said for that 50% of marriages that now ends in divorce. Instead of being a child of a broken home, I could be a child of an unhappy marriage. I’m not sure, but I think I’d still have some issues. I’ll have to ask my therapist about that. But my point is this. The gays quest for marriage equality somehow ruined my parents’ marriage over 30 years ago. Those gays are dangerous.

Now, this newly uncovered piece of information is doubly disturbing for me to know since I am one of the gays, which means that I am actually part of what caused my own parents’ divorce. It’s like Back to the Future meets Queer as Folk. Sca-ry. I wonder if I decided tomorrow that I’m not gay (since it’s just a simple decision anyway), and I looked at some pictures of my two younger half-sisters, if they would be slowly fading from the photos. And if they were somewhere playing a guitar on stage if they would slowly start to fumble the notes and discover that their hand is transparent (a la Michael J Fox.) It would be as if my singular stand against the evil power of the gay could erase the mistake of my parents’ divorce, and also my sisters’ subsequent births as a result of the remarriage of both of my parents. Kinda screws with your head, no?

But back to the blogging in parents’ basement in pajamas. I do not have any children. And if I lived in Arkansas, I could say that I never will. (Way to put 1/3 of your foster children in flux, Arkansas! Good job!) But, if I did, I would absolutely LOVE it if they were blogging about you, Mrs. Palin, in their pajamas in my basement. First of all, it would mean that they were paying attention to current events in politics. Awesome! Second, it would mean that they have a fondness for writing and voicing their opinions. Dangerous in this country, I know, but I applaud it just the same. And third, it would mean they weren’t out contributing to the nation’s already growing number of problems associated with teen drinking or teen pregnancy. I mean, kids who are blogging in their parents’ basements aren’t out getting into trouble. Maybe if more people gave their kids some PJ’s, a laptop, and free rent, we’d have a lot less crime. Just a thought. I think all those conservative right wing crazies ought to think about that. I mean if they don’t want to teach sex ed or give their kids condoms, maybe this is a good alternative. I bet Levi’s parents are thinking it would have been a good idea right about now.

So, Mrs. Palin, before you blanketly dismiss anyone who is writing blogs in pajamas in their parents’ basements, maybe you should think about the upside. I understand that you were implying that they are uninformed, unemployed, and basically lazy. But, it also means they probably aren’t out actively doing anything to make sure you never get elected to public office again. Which would you prefer?